Mid-Life Reflection, Lifelong Fascination, and Longing for Something Unknown
Thoughts are the rudders for our lives. When they are jumbled, the rudder spins in all directions, and the ship becomes lost or doesn’t move at all. When thoughts are positive and full of confidence, the rudder makes its adjustments as necessary, but no sea of trouble can throw the ship off-course. And when thoughts are depressed, it seems the ship has run aground and the rudder is mired down in the sandbars of life. Such are my thoughts right now.
I’ll be 36 next month, so I suppose I’m at the mid-life point of my life. The men of my family don’t live for very long after 60, and I have enough negative health markers to where I shouldn’t expect a long life. A heart attack took my father, paternal grandfather and maternal grandmother; cancer took my mother; and diabetes took my uncle. I’m single, overweight, and sedentary. In the game of life, I’m rolling snake eyes. Frankly, if I live past 40, I’ll be surprised.
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