As the New Year begins, it’s a good time to reflect on the past year and see if there are things I’ve learned that I can apply to my life in the days, months, and years to come. The tradition of the ethical will (Heb. “Zevaoth“) comes to us from Jewish moralists, who wished to pass on their collected wisdom to their children and/or students, meaning it was meant for a very small audience. It was also meant to be the ultimate expression of the individual, passed on to those who remained after death. I’d like to take that tradition into the modern age and make it something that we can all share, but I think it’s also important to reflect annually on the year and figure out what was learned along the path in those 12 months.
No doubt, the past few years have been witness to some major changes in my life. I’ve lost parents and friends. I’ve changed homes and jobs. I’ve gained knowledge as well as new friends. In short, my perspective has changed quite dramatically in the past 3 years that I’ve lived in Austin, Texas. I know that my logic will be skewed by these drastic changes, but I hope I’ve been able to pick out the small threads of truth through it all.
Interpersonal Relationships
- Bankrupt Accounts Should be Resolved - We’ve all heard that relationships with other people are a lot like bank accounts. Steady deposits (good deeds, contact, being there for them) lead to a healthy relationship. Unlike a normal bank account, however, these accounts have a negative interest rate. When deposits aren’t made, the overall balance decreases. Withdrawals include broken promises, neglect, lies, and hurtful actions or statements. When these accounts fall into the red or negative balance, it’s time to take stock of the relationship and consider whether or not it’s worth saving. If changes aren’t likely to come, it’s time to sever ties and wish the other person well. To do otherwise is to accept the idea that you’re somehow unworthy of a mutually beneficial relationship. This is devastating to the self-image.
- Be Truly True to Yourself - Many people take Polonius‘ advice to mean that as long as you’re happy, you can do whatever you want to other people. But they’ve missed a significant part of the quote:
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man
It’s important to be true to yourself, which is your deepest self, which knows right from wrong, the Christ in you, so to speak. But, if you do things that are hurtful and deceptive to others, then you’re not truly being true to that self. And if that inner self isn’t crying out for you to stop, then something inside of you is broken. You’ve lied for too long to this self, and therefore, you’ve fooled yourself. This is a dark, winding path that leads only to despair and madness. And eventually, the only people who will have anything to do with you are people who are either too weak of spirit to recognize the toxicity of your friendship or those who are also broken themselves.
- Blood Truly is Thicker than Water - Friendships come and go. Except for the rare few, friendships do not last forever. Family relationships, except in those families that are severely broken, are the few relationships that do not have a negative interest rate, as mentioned in the first bullet point. I’ve discovered that family is the only thing in a person’s life that is truly selfless. There is no other motivation besides love. [Again, I say this about families that are semi-normal. Ironically, many of the sociopathic disorders out there (namely Narcissistic Personality Disorder or NPD) are caused by screwed-up relationships with a primary caregiver.]
Coming tomorrow: Ethical Will of 2007, Part 2, Psychology, Religion, and All Things Interior …
Tags: ethical will, family, friendship, love, relationships, truth
The news came out today that Dan Fogelberg died this morning after a long battle with cancer. His album (yes, it was vinyl) “The Innocent Age” was one of my favorite albums growing up. Once my mom left to go to work, I’d spend hours listening to it as loud as I could on her turntable console. I memorized the lines of all of the songs, and I could probably still sing them even though it’s been years since I heard any of them.
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Tags: cancer, dan fogelberg, death, prostate cancer
This week, on October 15th, the blogosphere celebrated Blog Action Day, a day on which hundreds of bloggers wrote about a specific topic. This year’s topic, not surprisingly, was the environment. In response to this day of collective yapping, I’m holding my own blogging event. Only, I’m the only participant, and I won’t delude myself into thinking that by talking (or writing) about something I’m going to change anything.
Now, before you starting thinking that I’m an evil anti-environmentalist, let me make a couple of statements. First of all, I do believe that we all must individually begin making better choices. We’re the only creatures on earth that befoul their own living environment … and continue to do so after the negative impacts are realized. Secondly, I love Nature. I love being in Nature. There is an awesome feeling being in a pristine location, with no man-made structures in sight. I can totally relate to animist religions, like Shinto, that revere natural locations as sacred, such as mountains, waterfall, streams, forests, etc.
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Tags: , apocalypse, blog action day, environmentalism
Thoughts are the rudders for our lives. When they are jumbled, the rudder spins in all directions, and the ship becomes lost or doesn’t move at all. When thoughts are positive and full of confidence, the rudder makes its adjustments as necessary, but no sea of trouble can throw the ship off-course. And when thoughts are depressed, it seems the ship has run aground and the rudder is mired down in the sandbars of life. Such are my thoughts right now.
I’ll be 36 next month, so I suppose I’m at the mid-life point of my life. The men of my family don’t live for very long after 60, and I have enough negative health markers to where I shouldn’t expect a long life. A heart attack took my father, paternal grandfather and maternal grandmother; cancer took my mother; and diabetes took my uncle. I’m single, overweight, and sedentary. In the game of life, I’m rolling snake eyes. Frankly, if I live past 40, I’ll be surprised.
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Tags: japan, japanese, mid-life crisis
I get the daily e-mail from Daily Writing Tips, so I can keep up with what’s going on in the world of writing (the technical world of grammar and word use, that is, not the world of authors and such). And today’s article, entitled “Putting on Airs” or Expressing One’s Thoughts? really struck a nerve with me. Someone besides me believes that there really is a dumbing down of the American culture.
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Tags: distracted drivers, dumbing down, gnostics, Society
“If we wish to be free — if we mean to preserve inviolate those inestimable privileges for which we have been so long contending — if we mean not basely to abandon the noble struggle in which we have been so long engaged, and which we have pledged ourselves never to abandon until the glorious object of our contest shall be obtained, we must fight!” - Patrick Henry, St. John’s Church, Richmond, VA, March 23rd, 1775
There is one thing that the Founding Fathers of the United States knew, and that is that people must fight in order to be free. Force was necessary in order to exert Providence’s will that people should be free. They knew that the French could and would never defeat the British and then simply hand us our freedom on a silver platter and say “Bon chance, mes amis.” The nation had to be galvanized behind the great fight against tyranny and oppression.
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Tags: benjamin franklin, founding fathers, patrick henry, war in iraq
The television networks are all up in arms today as the new Spring viewership numbers have come in. And they don’t look good at all. According to CNN , “More than 2.5 million fewer people are watching ABC, CBS, NBC, and Fox that at the same time last year…” Aww, the poor widdle networks are woozing their viewers. Obviously, I don’t give a rat’s ass about the networks or their losses. They’ve been feeding us drivel for decades, and we’ve been brainwashed into a culture of abject consumerism and shallow perceptions of what Life is really about.
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Tags: marketing, slavery, Society, survival, television ratings
“4 out of 5 people will believe anything you say as long as you preface it with a statistic.” — Yours Truly
I get the utterly impossible image of someone perusing my writings in 100 years and quoting someone named Yours Truly with the above quotation. It’s sad, really, that I have such a low opinion of my fellow (and future fellow) human being. What’s sadder is the image I have of someone 100 years from now not even being able to read and/or understand my writings.
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Tags: cancer, dating, distracted drivers, dumbing down, Society
“Without change, something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.” — Frank Herbert - Dune
Welcome to the new KeithGoode.com! I’ve changed service providers, website platforms, site designs, … hell, I’ve changed. It’s a new life for me and my site, so I’m happy to introduce you to the new “us.”
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Tags: , change, gnostics
